I made the mistake of laughing at something funny a homeless guy said as I walked from the metro to work today, and he decided that was encouragement enough to walk with me for a block or so. He opened with "Can I be your bodyguard for 30 seconds?" Kept up a running stream of -- admittedly humorous -- commentary, and closed with "Can I help it you're beautiful?" Me: silence, looking straight ahead. "You don't know you're beautiful? Well that's your fucking problem. Good luck."
What I should have said: "Look, you're funny, but following me when I've made it clear I'm not going to give you any personal information is disrespectful. Leave me alone."
What I should have said: "No, you know what my fucking problem is? Guys like you. I know I'm beautiful. I own a mirror, and I have eyes. Moreover, I know because guys like you feel the need to tell me constantly, as if I don't know. My fucking problem is that guys like you think that because I'm beautiful I owe you something. I don't owe you shit. Yeah, I know I'm beautiful. Now leave me the fuck alone."
What I said: Nothing. Kept walking, stony-faced, to work.
No comments:
Post a Comment