This happened today:

Me to Alex:
In case you were wondering what you were out and about doing last night while you slept, you were showing up in my dream. Yep. I had a dream that you and your parents were flying to Fiji for dinner (!). I stopped by your house as you were getting ready to go and then it turns out that someone had used one of those credit card swipey things to steal  your credit card info and had spent like $8000 and you were like, "Yeah, I think they took my info from outside the house." And I was like "Those things have that kind of range?!!" Then you thought about inviting me to Fiji but you had to go take care of the credit card thing and then my computer got a Fijian virus and I had to use a cardboard box instead and it meant I couldn't get in touch with you to find out if you had decided to invite me to Fiji because you had changed all your contact info and I couldn't look up your facebook account ON A CARDBOARD BOX. They're too slow. Oh yeah, and it turns out you had changed your phone number to 202-509-TIGER (yeah, like that's exactly how it showed up in my cell phone). And then I was like, "Hold on, who is this guy who flies to Fiji for dinner and changes his phone number to 509-TIGER?? This is not the Alex I thought I knew!" Then I got food poisoning.

All in all, what the fuck.

Alex to me:
hahahaha that is one of the funniest dreams I've ever heard. a cardboard box. ahhhhhhhhhhh

you know that now you need to call that number back, right?

Me to Alex:
yeah, i'm going to call and it's going to go like this

TIGER: Hello?
ME: Hi. I'm calling because your phone number showed up in my dream last night. Is your name maybe Alex?
TIGER: Ummmm....... what the fuck?
ME: Look, I don't know. Maybe we're fated to meet. Like you're my Wesley Snipes or something. I hate you, but I have to marry you anyway. I don't know.
TIGER: [click.]