Way opens

Picture this: you are walking in the woods. It's a pleasant day, but the path is narrow and not well maintained. There are twigs and briars that you have to push out of the way from time to time. It's a sunny day but a bright shaft of light beams through the branches only occasionally.

You round a corner in the path and suddenly it opens onto a meadow. The trees form a canopy around the edge, but the middle is full of sunshine and little blue flowers. Little orange and brown birds flit across and settle on a low branch. You can't believe your good luck at stumbling across this beauty. As you are walking through the meadow, mentally rejoicing at your good fortune, you come across a fresh spring -- water so cold and sweet it is almost shocking. Wow, you think, it doesn't get any better than this! Then you notice there is a raspberry bush next to the stream, the branches drooping under the weight of ripe raspberries. Good thing on top of good thing on top of good thing.

Sometimes way opens slowly and painfully. You know the way you need to go, you are called to go that way, but it feels hard.

Sometimes, though. Sometimes the sun just comes out on a day that was projected to be gloomy and rainy. Sometimes it just happens in an instant, quickly and joyfully. I think I might be experiencing that one right now. I hope so.

Stuff to look at later

It's a lists kind of day. Here are some things from my bookmark folder of "Stuff to look at later."

• How to make zigzag shorts. As soon as I get over my fear of bleach (I've had so many things inexplicably get bleach spots in the wash -- when I never wash with bleach -- that I am afraid to ever use it because then what if it gets on all my other clothes forever?) I am going to make these. I have the black pants. They need to be zigzag shorts.
• Schrodinger's Rapist: Or a guy's guide to approaching strange women without getting maced.
• Philip Govedare's website. I like this guy's landscapes a lot. Example:

• How to make a macro photo studio.
• 20X200. It's a website based on the idea that everyone needs art, where you can buy original works of art for as low as $24.
• Homesteaders Show Off Their Claim Shacks. Photos of homesteaders. Showing off their claim shacks, obviously.

Things I Want

I was just looking at my Amazon recommended items, because I like to be told I should buy things. The things fell into three major categories: 1) books about dogs, 2) things related to wedding cakes, and 3) children's books. I would say that is a pretty accurate summary of my brain, although it is generally cakes in general, when I'm not planning for baking a friend's wedding cake. Anyway, now I'm thinking about things I want. I want a lot of things. Here are some of them:

• The Sky High Cakes cookbook for three-layer cakes. At some point in college it occurred to me that I could check COOKBOOKS out of the library, which is by far one of the most genius realizations I have ever had. This was one of my favorites.
• Books about crafts. Because even if you never do the crafts, you can still look at pictures of the pretty crafts other people have done. That's a win in my book. Here are two: Microcrafts: Tiny Treasures to Make and Share (crafts! that are tiny!) and Weekend Handmade (encouraging "readers to celebrate the joy of crafting" -- sign me up).
• Farm Anatomy. I really have no practical personal interest farms, but check out the illustrations. Awesome. 
• A book stand that is wide enough to hold The Joy of Cooking, the New Best Recipe, and other thick cookbooks. Cookbooks take up SO MUCH VALUABLE COUNTER SPACE. 
• Children's books. No children required. I just love children's books. I want so many children's books.
• A paper cutter. Although I haven't worked in a bindery for 3 years, I am still a bit of a bindery nerd. I would also like a sewing frame, a spine hammer, a nice awl, and a block of beeswax. And a round-bladed scalpel. None of that flat-bladed X-Acto crap.
• A doggy bike trailer. For camping and day trips. The nice ones are expensive, though.

Things that annoy me

When I send a requested item to someone and then three days later they ask for it again as if I had not originally complied with their request. A simple email search is all it takes, people....

Cosmic balance

Sometimes it feels like there are a lot of bad things:

• My dog, the best dog in the world, died in a minute's time with zero minutes' notice in January.
• My grandmother, after frequent stays in the hospital & nursing home over the last 6 months, and less frequent but still fairly regular hospital/nursing home visits over the past 5-6 years, passed away last week.
• Our friend and historical collaborator from Co-Madres in El Salvador has cancer that just doesn't want to respond to the relentless treatments she has undergone in the last year and a half. She remains a fighter, but I worry constantly how long her strength can last.

It helps, then, to think also about the good things. I'm not going to get all cheesy and start talking about closed doors vs. opened windows, but it make me feel a bit better to think about the cosmic balance of events. It's sort of like karma, but for the world.

• My dear friend from college is getting married to her wonderful boyfriend of 4+ years.
• My closest neighbor-friend is going to have a baby girl in June July and I have already signed up to babysit.
• I got a new dog who is very playful and sweet and she is small enough to fit on my lap (in like a year, when we've taught her she can't jump up whenever she wants).
• Within the past 10 days I had a baby fall asleep on my chest, blew bubbles "to put out the fire!" with a nearly-4 year old, and ate Girl Scout cookies with a 2 year old.

Sunset

Here's another sunset(ish) for you, taken yesterday at the Brookland Metro:

Grandma Janey

This is the most vivid memory I have of visiting my grandparents (Ruby's parents) as a child:

As a kid, I was a major league morning person. My grammy knew I woke up before everyone else, so she told me that when I woke up I should go wiggle her toes and she would get up and read with me. I was a shy kid, and waking people up terrified me, but I was easily bored and hated being the only one awake. So I would creep quietly into my grandparents' room in the morning to wake my grandma up. I was too shy to actually wiggle her toes (small child that I was, I thought she literally wanted me to wiggle her toes) so I would stand near her head and whisper "Grammy, wake up" until she woke up. When she woke up she would beam me a smile and read books with me until everyone else woke up.


Lessons learned: Don't wait. Go now.

Things that are making me happy

Leaving work early enough to see sunlight.

This may actually be a sunrise... I don't remember taking this picture.

This guy. We live together. It's awesome.

Dog! Meet Kirby. She was already kind enough to sit for a head shot. More pictures (with less morning light/shadow) to come, obviously.

On adopting dogs

Some time senior year, or maybe even junior year, of college, I realized that when I graduated I would be able to get a dog. Except it was more like, HOLY CRAP I CAN GET A DOG WHEN I GRADUATE WHY CAN'T I GRADUATE NOW? I guess you could say I'm a little bit of a dog person.

After that realization, I started checking Petfinder obsessively. I spent a lot of time looking at puppies, even though I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to get one. I still haven't forgiven my mother for getting a puppy while I was away in Costa Rica for a semester in high school. I specifically told her before I left, "Don't get a puppy while I'm gone!" I knew it would be the only puppy she would get in 10 or 15 years, and maybe the last puppy she would get in her life. So what did she do? When I'd been gone 2 months she went and got a little lab mix puppy. I died of jealousy when my best friends celebrated a birthday at my parents' house and sent me pictures of each of them holding that fuzzy little black fluffball.

Anyway, college. Pefinder. A couple months before I graduated I came across one dog in particular on Petfinder. She was a pit-mix named Tula, a year or two old. She was about 50 lbs, and was playful and friendly and loved other dogs. She was everything I wanted in a dog. She was the dog I wanted. A month went by, and she was still there. I graduated, and she was still there. I couldn't get a dog right away because I was going to visit Elise in Scandanavia for three weeks, but I got back and she was still there! I submitted an application to the rescue while I was in Cleveland visiting relatives. I knew that I was moving to DC for my internship at FCNL in a month or two (I can't remember how far away it was, now) and I foolishly came clean about my planned cross-country move on my application. I had an interview, and it went well. I started making arrangements to meet her when I came back from Cleveland. Then a couple days later I got an email that the Board of Directors had decided that she needed to be adopted to a family that was staying within Minnesota, so that if anything went wrong at any point they would be able to return her to the organization.

I was heartbroken.

I still wanted a dog, though. I wanted a dog so much.

The next weekend, or maybe two weekends later, less than a month before moving to DC, I went (with Ruby and Celeste) to three adoption events in the Twin Cities area to look at dogs. The first one had a sweet little Border Collie mix that I kind of liked, but Ruby saw her bare her teeth at another dog that approached me. Nope.

The second one was an organization that had a great-looking blue heeler mix named Charlie who I liked from Petfinder, but we got there to find that he had just been adopted.

The third one was set up with the puppies in a play pen and the bigger dogs in kennels until someone wanted to look at one of them. I don't remember this, but Ruby says she urged me to look at this fluffy red lab/hound mix they were calling "Sparky." We took him outside on a leash to see what he was like. As soon as we got out to the grass he took a long pee, and then flopped over on his belly, grinning and wagging his tail at us. Right then, my heart was his. His still had his puppy fuzz, and he was such a soft happy wiggle-butt. We had brought my mom's dog, so we took her out of the car to see how he would do with other dogs, and her specifically. He wiggled all over and pulled me toward her to pant and wag and lick her face. I didn't want a dog with zero training, so we asked him to sit. He sat right away, looking for the treats. Sold. We took him back inside to ask a couple questions and fill out the application. When he realized he was about to be put back into his kennel (I swore to him it would just be for a few minutes, but I don't think he believed me) he lay down and refused to move. I laughed and let him lie next to me while I filled out the application, gave them pretty much the last of the money in my bank account, and collected his medical records.

My pup, the best pup.



I started writing this post to say that I might be getting a new pup soon. I met a pretty little hound girl named Kirby last weekend. She was the last dog I met on my way out of the last adoption event of the day. She is an absolute love. I wasn't quite ready to make the leap last weekend, but I've spoken with her foster parent and I'm going to meet her again this weekend. I am excited and nervous, both. Pictures to come, obviously, if she comes home with me.