Too much cancer.

That's all.

Grumpy morning

• Woke up from a nightmare that I think involved mutilated bodies only to realize it was 6:23; 7 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off so I could bike to work. Switched my alarm to 7:10.
• Woke up abruptly to a screeching alarm and momentarily though maybe Colin had left his phone at my house and now his worst alarm sound ever, the one that makes me want to gouge my eyes out and fill my ears with rocks, was now going off under my bed or maybe on my dresser? Realized it was Katy's alarm and she was in the shower. Went into her room and turned off her alarm. Flopped back into bed. Time: 6:58.
• THE GODDAMN ALARM AGAIN. WTF I just turned it off. Time: 7:03.
• Thought I heard one of my other housemates trying to poach my shower timeslot, so I got up, turned off my alarm before it had a chance to go off, and waited for Katy to get out of the shower.
• Made it out the door early, thanks to being up at 7:03, and stopped at CVS to pick up a prescription. Spent 7 minutes looking for Q-tips, then realized that the nitwit who processed my new insurance information incorrectly listed me as only being allowed to pick up one month instead of three, and they couldn't tell me how long it would take to fix the problem, so I continued to work without picking up my prescription or buying anything. Got to work late due to my unhelpful stop at CVS.
• Got an email at work from someone I had thanked very kindly yesterday for their help in gathering information we needed, informing me that neither he nor his colleague could provide me with any further information, and that "This email concludes your business with [redacted]."

So, time for some Nicki Minaj.

For Serious

Yesterday Elise and I went to see 50/50, which is about a young guy who is diagnosed with cancer and how he and his family & friends come to grips with that and the 50/50 chance that he will die from it.

Of course everyone dies at some point (generally at the end of their life - har), but with Elise's dad having passed a couple months ago it kind of brought it home that, right: my parents are going to die, probably while I'm still alive, and it's going to suck a lot. So yeah, combine that with the autumn change of light that puts me in kind of a delicate spot (and having a couple people I care a lot about who are trying to get rid of their cancer, and my grandma having been in the hospital for a couple weeks) and let's say I've been thinking about death more than usual. I can't really figure out an eloquent way to say that. I guess that's why there are poets; people who can take something that probably everyone realizes in a visceral way at some point in their lives, and make it sound both beautiful and extraordinary.



In other, pretty much unrelated news, one of my fish died. And the damn thing didn't float, so I didn't discover it right away. I found it probably a few days dead, with its fins rotting off. Rest in peace, my poor motor-challenged Gimpy. (Actually what I called that particular fish.)